Sat 31st October - Bristol Rovers

Halloween, and it looks pretty nightmarish as we arrive late. A bit too late really. 

Although it’s only five past three the walk along the side of the Memorial Ground was a painful one. One nil down inside three minutes was pain enough but two nil inside the first four minutes is probably like having to pick up a remote control box up. 

Two goals down, almost certain defeat, the rain in full effect and I hand over a tenner for admission. A tenner (or in modern currency four Kebab vouchers) to get soaked watching us lose again. Now to be honest the blokes in white coats should be having a quiet word by this time but it never once crossed my mind to save the money and return to the pub. This surely means I am either mentally unstable, pissed or blindly loyal. All three are a probability.

Rammell and Green return from injury with Roper and the unlucky Platt stepping aside. Rovers had the chance to make it three inside the first ten minutes but the impressive Hayles took too long when he should really have scored. The boys seemed to take heart from this and inched their way back into the game.  Wrack and Brissett had chances before Pingu smashed one home from the edge of the area. We were back in a game that was out of reach twenty minutes ago. 

We created more chances with some top quality movement and Rammell causing the Bristol defence problems with both his strength and his desire for the ball. On the stroke of half time some great movement and interplay left Pointon with the chance to cross low and hard into the danger area and OG popped up again to steer the ball beyond the helpless keeper and into the net. The 500 or so Saddlers fans went barmy. 2 - 2 at half time was more than we could have asked for. 

Five minutes into the second half Hayles scored for Rovers and our number looked up. Coming back again was going to be very hard. Rovers seemed content to smother the game by using the offside trap and this, with the aid of a poor linesman, helped to break our game up. Rovers then tried to break the game up even more by making three substitutions while we were pushing hard but they just couldn’t stop the Red baron that is Andy Rammell. 

Ten minutes to go and the ball broke to Brissett on the left side and a perfect cross was met on the six yard box by the big fella and the rest is obvious. To have to type he scored is probably insulting to Rambo because he was never going to miss from there. 3 each and a salvaged point from the ruins of the first five minutes was a more than creditable return. We tried throw it away but Walker saved brilliantly from the ever annoying Jamie Cureton and a point was ours. 

Not on your life. In the last minute of normal time, instead of doing the sensible thing and holding the ball in the corner of the pitch and keeping possession Lambert crossed deep into the home penalty area and Pingu snatched the points. I can’t really remember what happened because I went apeshit but after all that went before who cares?

The referee, a certain Paul Dirkin, played nine and a half minutes overtime following a lengthy pause in the second half and it felt like nine and a half weeks. We kept the ball brilliantly in this time and killed the game off as well as we did against Blackpool. Pingu probably took man of the match but to say we have missed Rammell would be one hell of an understatement. 

In many ways the match itself typified the spirit of Andy Rammell as we simply never gave up and in the end we got everything that we worked for. Perhaps we could start a new religion - ‘The Church of Rammell’ or preferably a footballing  philosophy - ‘Rammelism’. What a man.

Fri 30th October

It’s somewhat of a big game for us tomorrow. We really need to take something from the Memorial Ground tomorrow. One point from nine would be a worry and serve notice that the moaning season can begin.  So far the moaners have been in a extreme minority as the Bescot garden is rosy and the sky is blue. Another defeat tomorrow would probably see clouds building and temperatures falling however. I have to be honest here because I can’t see us getting anything from this one.

Wed 28th October

Let’s all collectively give a sigh of relief. Big, bad Andy Rammell is back and although it’s only a reserve game it’s good news.

Perhaps he’s been listening to Richard Green because I read that he’s had the help of Mrs Drury. Yes indeed Glenda’s fave healing babe has worked her magic on our Richie. Bet she couldn’t do anything about the chip on John Gregory’s shoulder.

Tue 27th October

Big Deano, you know the one who was out for eighteen months following major surgery to his drivers side wing mirror, states that he will quit wolves on a Bosman if they fail to win promotion this term.

One win in ten means he might as well jump ship now.

Mon 26th October

Muggy gets charged with misconduct by the FA following his whinging after a dodgy Portsmouth penalty. Funny that he didn’t complain about the penalty that followed Dean Richard’s dive on Saturday. He probably didn’t see it. Bet he sees his P45 shortly however.

Sat 24th October - Fulham

Fulham away and a pretty comprehensive 4 - 1 defeat. This was always going to be a tough one but I honestly thought our trusted away system might overcome an attack minded Fulham.  
This wasn't to be however as Fulham had more structure than I expected and we simply didn’t get going until it was far too late. We hit the post when one nil down and Marsh scored when two nil down but it was a case of not really being at the races. 

Ex-Baggie Paul Peschisolido scored his first goal of the season and it was all downhill from there. For Pesch that is as Greg Luganis has nothing on this bloke. Fair enough the pitch was waterlogged but even at the Gala Baths diving in the shallow end is banned. Small blokes are said to have better balance but when you continually go over like Naseem Hamed has chinned you it quickly becomes a bit of a pain in the arse.  I even thought that the assistant referee had given him a perfect ten at one stage however it transpired he was raising the substitution cards as Keegan replaced him. 

On an ever sourer note the Pelsall penis scored with from a needlessly conceded free kick. This was a pretty bitter pill to swallow as how ever much I can't stand wolves there will always be room for Steve Hayward. His tackle on Stuart Ryder three years ago was a disgrace and should never ever be forgotten. The chanting of “scum” from the away terrace as he left the field at the end of the game was a true reflection of the feelings of Walsall fans to one of their own people. Right now, I guess he'd struggle to find a Saddler willing to piss on him if he was on fire.

Talking of piss I see the giant portaloo that was the men’s toilet at Craven Cottage has been replaced.  Mr Al Fayed’s money hasn’t just been spent on buying overrated players at inflated prices because Fulham have also invested in ten individual plastic portable toilets. Now correct me if I'm wrong but portaloo is shortened version of the words 'portable' & 'toilet'. Portable Mohammed, portable. How about treating us fans properly and building a proper one?


In saying that, as Craven Cottage has been a permanent shithole for more than twenty years why worry about the state of the away dunny. No roof, no permanent toilet block and a mobile burger van. All for a tenner.  At Fulham it appears that Mr Fayed charges top rate admission and provides third rate facilities. I wonder if this the same for all of his business interests or just football?   
   
Oh, just to top everything off it absolutely pissed down and we get soaked. The only redemption on an all round crap day was the six pints quaffed beforehand. We still missed the kick off I’m pleased to report.

Fri 23rd October

So they didn’t throw the book at Di Canio after all. A ten grand fine and an eleven match ban is all he gets.  If they wanted to hurt him they should have thrown the TV remote control box at him. Deadly equipment that. Perhaps they threw the latest copy of Viz, or more realistically the Mark McGhee tactical handbook at him. Can I be forgiven for comparing your work to a comic Viz editors ?

Thu 22nd October

I can proudly report that I have successfully managed to turn the TV channel over without getting a serious injury. I’m probably going to be a brave boy tomorrow and try to use the teletext. Alternatively, maybe I should hire a stunt double for such a dangerous task. 

Wed 21st October


Surprisingly, Uncle Ray wasn't overly disappointed with last night and he made a point of praising the players overall commitment since his arrival.

We have to visit Fulham on Saturday and Bristol Rovers next weekend. This following Wrexham and last night means we could be looking at one win in five if we're not careful. This is a bit of a worry. Still we’re on 26 points and that’s halfway to avoiding relegation so were on the right track. 

On the other hand wouldn’t it be typical Walsall to win both of these away fixtures. In all honesty I’d settle for three points out of six so lets get those fingers crossed and prayer mats out.

The clouds gather over Muggy as another defeat last night leaves the Dingle’s below Port Vale and Bury in the table.  Haven’t they spent the Hayward money well. To be honest I don’t think I could have wasted it quite as badly as Muggy, Turnip and Turner. With names like these they should open a solicitors practice or a Psychiatric clinic and forget the manager pretence. In forking out a fortune on Daley, Thomas, De Wolf and Claridge they’ve probably deserve an appointment at the aforementioned clinic by now.

Tuesday 20th October - Colchester Utd

A bit like Northampton this one.  Colchester United were the visitors at Bescot on a very windy Tuesday night. We haven’t won a night game this season and we didn’t tonight. 

Colchester are the indentikit third division promotion side - tall, strong, well organised and even more direct. They are a replica of Chesterfield, Northampton and Bury, all of who have gained promotion and settled into second division life comfortably. 

It was probably ignorance that let me assume we would sweep them aside tonight because I should have known better. This was probably the first game all season that I expected us to win and we failed. To be fair we made sure we didn’t lose and that in itself is a reflection on the good work of Uncle Ray. If we can’t get all three than make sure we get one seems the right attitude to me. 

A lot of the fans got impatient as the expected win never materialised but most accepted that tonight was not to be. Perhaps the fact that we took the lead and tried to hold on got to people but they need to be patient. Platt opened his account for the season with a crisp half volley following good work by Wrack and a cross from Marsh. The anticipated Alamo never came and Colchester equalised nine minutes from time following a break down our left, a slip from Richard Green and a rebound off the woodwork.

The players simply couldn’t overcome a robust Colchester system that strangled midfield and this was in many ways similar to both the Northampton and Reading games. Porter was about as ineffective as I have ever seen him and that, given his previous form, is truly saying something. We also missed Rammell like hell.

A special note for the referee. Not only did he manage to make a bad game worse with his inconsistency but he also managed to take more bookings in ninety minutes that The Bonser Suite has taken since Christmas. A rank poor performance from a rank poor referee. 

Mon 19th October


I didn’t get to the E&S report on the Blackpool win as my attention was caught by one of those bizarre news stories. 

Apparently Robbie Keane has smashed his knee up whilst attempting to turn the TV over with his remote control. Now I have always tried to use my fingers with this miracle of technology but clearly they haven’t quite got to grips with them over in thickoville. 

The fact that the words wolves and control were used in the same paragraph must have had Bully in a sweat though. Apparently Stevie only ever has only one opportunity to change channel, his first touch is so poor that the remote runs away from him after that.

Sat 17th October - Blackpool


Another Saturday, another win. 

Apart from last Saturday at Wrexham we haven’t lost at the weekend.  In fact our last two Saturday defeats have been in Wales and Scotland. European adventure at it’s finest.  

Blackpool were the visitors today and were pretty disappointing. They created very little in the first half and although they had a lot of the ball in the second period they only forced one save out of Jimmy Walker. This was a pretty tame game all round with the mighty Saddlers taking the lead through Darren Wrack late in the first half and then inviting the Seasiders to try and break us down.  They couldn’t. 

Pingu had his best game so far in the red shirt and Keates did well on the left hand side. The back four were tight and it appeared that they were playing an offside game at times.  I'll have to keep an eye on that one. To be fair, Blackpool didn’t get behind us until Aldridge forced the save from Wacka and that was the one and only time. Generally this was another top performance defensively. 

In attack we had no Rammell or Brissett so Platt and Watson started again. Since his injury Watson hasn’t looked all that sharp and he although clearly isn’t fully fit his pace is deceptive. He is even slower than he looks. We probably lack pace throughout the side but seem to be coping well enough at the moment. We aren’t creating dozens of chances in a game but seem to be hitting the net as much as anyone else.  It is apparent though that when the chances come we have to take them.

Stoke come from behind at Lincoln (ooh er!) and Preston also win so we stay third. It’s all a dream,  I’m sure of it. 

Elsewhere, or more specifically on the south coast, Portsmouth defeat the lesser ones. Golden Graveyard striking legend Stevie Claridge is tripped in the penalty area and this leads to a dismissal for the curly one. Claridge, in a successful attempt to find a place in my heart, turns to the visiting fans and waves a sarcastic ‘fuck you’ salute and Pompey win it from the resulting spot kick. Ring those Pompey chimes.

Fri 16th October

Ray goes shopping and gets Pingu for two years, James Lambert for a month and asks for a refund on Paul Simpson. The refund is probably not forthcoming so we send him back to wolves instead. 

The failure of Simpson to improve on what we already have shows the difference between a mediocre first and a decent second division side is relatively small. Alternatively/ put more simply,  wolves are shit.

Thu 15th October

Roger  (I want to play in a higher level) Boli signs for..................................... erm, Bournemouth. 

Clearly the grass wasn’t greener on the other side of Hadrian’s Wall and so he's continued his signing on fee tour of Britain with a somewhat apt stint in Britain's retirement capital. 

Sat 28th November, Bournemouth at home. Should be interesting. Best bring your ear muffs Rog.

Wed 14th October

With Rammell and co still doubtful for the weekend the reserves get the chance to prove whether they are good enough for a first team berth at Darlington. They do just that losing 6 - 2. So for this lot it’s another Saturday afternoon shopping then. Losing to Darlington reserves? they should be shot. Ray was probably on the phone before full time looking for loaners and I don’t blame him.

Sat 10th October - Wrexham


Wales in winter. It’s bad enough in summer, let alone a vile Saturday in mid-October. 

Ray brings back Watson and Clive Platt to replace the injured Rammell and Simpson with Brissett moving onto the left side of midfield. 

We started well and took the lead inside the first fifteen minutes as we score from a well rehearsed corner. Let me repeat that again - we score from a well rehearsed corner. Us and corners are about as rare as a tasteful Arsenal away kit. Every now and then we get one right but normally we are appalling. 

Right then with Stoke not playing until Monday we are technically top of the league. Until Wrexham equalise that is. Connelly having a bit of luck with a mis-hit that goes his way for an easy header.

Five minutes later Wrexham score again but Russell looks at least five yards offside and the linesman has flagged him offside.  No goal...........er, Goal. The linesman takes his flag down and the referee gives a goal. Our boys go apeshit at the officials who appear to have little knowledge of the English language. Perhaps they came from Rhyl and Aberystwyth,  because hand on heart they officiated like they did. 

Our boys tried to come back from this but try as they did they couldn’t. A 2 - 1 defeat and no top spot tonight. Never mind, we played better than I expected and in all honesty defeats at Wrexham are about as common as the aforementioned tasteless Arsenal away strips. 

Just for the record we didn’t make the kick off.  Wales in winter, oh dear.  

Fri 9th October

All who are fit will travel to Sheepyville tomorrow. Hell if we get there before kick off we might even get a game. In all honesty, with a decent away fan friendly boozer nearby, there’s more chance of us drinking pineapple juice than making the kick off.

Wed 7th October

The injury situation is becoming dire as (a) Watson looks doubtful now and (b) Roper comes through the reserves fixture without picking up a knock!  For the record, we beat Chester reserves 1 - 0.

Tue 6th October

Richard Green is now struggling for Wrexham this weekend.

Mon 5th October

It is already looking bleak for Saturday as Rammell and Marsh get treatment for hamstring injuries

Sat 3rd October - Preston North End


How could I ever doubt them ?  They didn’t play all that well but kept it tight and organised themselves superbly. PNE bought stacks of fans and this would have created a brilliant atmosphere if the glory hunters in the away end knew how to support a team. 

The Saddlers took the lead on the half hour from a corner through Rammell, obviously, and looked well in control at that point. Preston came back into the game after the break and dominated the second half but couldn’t manage to get behind a solid Walsall back four that had Pointon restored at full back. Gadsby came on for Marsh, who pulled a hamstring, and again impressed with a faultless forty or so minutes in the face of some good Preston pressure. Watson replaced Rammell, who also did his hamstring, but clearly lacks match fitness. 

Wrack won a penalty in the last ten minutes and promptly hit the same post as on Wednesday night but it made no difference. Preston had a player sent off for knocking the ball out of Wrack’s hands and Brissett was booked for kicking the ball away and later dismissed for diving. This was after the ref had only cautioned two players for real leg breaking challenges and it just about summed his performance up. He probably was hoping for man of the match but this goes to Keates for another fighting display.

The top five lost today and we have gone second in the table. 22 points from 11 games isn’t bad at all and I really don’t know what to make of this season. At Gillingham I hoped to avoid relegation, at Chesterfield I was hoping for a top half finish and at Luton to finish between eighth and tenth. Now the play-off places don’t look out of reach but in all honesty I would still settle for fifty five points. Oh ye of little faith, maybe, but I’ve been here before. It is exciting though.

Fri 2nd October

Preston North End tomorrow and I’m a bit nervous about it. North End are currently the top scorers in the division and we can’t seem to differentiate the requirements of home and away tactics. Not that I doubt UR and his tactics, I just think we need more time to get it right. We have conceded seven goals in our last three home games and a visit from high flying, free scoring, promotion chasers isn’t what I would have chosen for tomorrow. However they are coming and we will have to be ready for them. 

They always bring a few (and a few more when they are doing well) so there should be a big crowd tomorrow.